It All Comes Back To Family...
And even after I realized that again today as I spent what should have been study time talking to various members of my family. I didn't talk to Justin as I talked to him last weekend and I spent this whole week regreting that. I have to do this stupid assignment and your wife is the backgraound yelling the whole time. What the hell??? Anyway... I spent all day catching up with my mom, grandma, aunts, and cousins and I have a renewed sense of family. I forgot how much they've meant to me. My family has stood by me through a lot of crap that I've done and things that have happened to me. For awhile the only thing keeping me sane after Rob died was the impending birth of my cousin Max. I keep fucking up they (for the most part) keep standing by me and keep giving me chance after chance to be a good person. They have mostly accepted that I'm not a good person and don't keep trying to mold me into something I'm not. I used to wish that I was born into a different family but one day I woke up and realized how insanely lucky I am. Even if people hate me, there is absolutly nothing that can make my Mom or my aunts or my Grandma turn their backs on me completely. That's a comforting thing. Right now I hope I'm making them proud. I have done so much to disappoint them that I want them to quit expecting the next fuck up. I haven't done anything in awhile to disappoint anyone, but you never know.